Entertainment Roundup

Ender's Game is an excellent book about a boy who is chosen to be trained as the greatest military commander in the history of the world.  The instructors who monitor Ender's progress refuse to help him.  In fact, they prevent anyone from coming to Ender's rescue when a larger, older boy decides to fight Ender.  Being the total badass that he is, Ender kills the larger boy with his bare hands and comes to the following realization:

Trailers for Current Movies I'm Still Looking Forward to Seeing

• 42

• Pain and Gain

• Mud

• The Place Beyond the Pines

• Ender's Game - the trailer is now available and there is an official site up for the movie!!!

• Spring Breakers

Webcomics

Tom Gauld - His tumblr account is fantastic and his site contains even more good material.

xkcd.com - of course

This weekend I really should

• Get ahead on a few things for work by putting in about four hours at a desk getting things in line
• Do all the laundry and find a place to put everything that is clean
• Box up another set of things in anticipation of moving
• Clean out the car
• Enter receipts
• Troll craigslist for free things

Weekend Entertainment

Overproduce 

I have a new theory on how to live life to the fullest.  My new theory is called Overproduce to Succeed.  Put simply, the theory is that in order to succeed in life- to make money and be the envy of those around you- you should make it your goal to produce as much quality goods and services as your resources will allow.

I came up with this theory after buying two red beach / outdoor folding chairs from a big box store.  So far the chairs, which are made of metal and some kind of strong synthetic material with a cup holder on the right  arm all of which folds up and fits into a condom like sleeve that comes with a strap to sling the entire thing across your shoulder or carry at your side, have been fantastic for my sitting needs.  I've even loaned these chairs out for a weekend and got compliments on them when they were returned.  After buying these chairs, I noticed that they were available at lots of other stores.  I thought to myself that whoever made these chairs made a heck of a lot of them.  This got me to thinking that farmers who produce lots of corn, lettuce, pigs, chickens or whatever they are farming are probably the guys who are getting rich and setting the market cost of the goods they produce.  All of this led me to the theory that the best thing I can do with my time on earth is to overproduce, build abundance and somehow become wealthy.

This weekend, my plan is to overproduce using each one of the documents available at drive.google.com.  Here is a screenshot of the types of materials that one can produce in Google Drive:

That's right, I'm going to make a

• Document - 
• Presentation - I'm finally collecting my comedy materials and putting them together in PowerPoint form.  If all goes well, I'll have enough materials to be able to slang for $59.95.  
• Spreadsheet - a list of the names commonly held by hot girls because everything from a boat to a computer to a car needs a name and they should be good ones
• Form - A Clean Sheets and Dirty Girls 
• Drawing - I'm thinking of finding comics and replacing the text with my own writing.  Collecting high resolution (print quality) images of 
• Lucidchart diagram - 
• Mind map - all of the stuff I want to build, i.e. a stand for an ipad, a photo frame in the shape of a comic book page to hold photos that have comic book type captions in them, 
• Script - come to find out that this means the computer coding kind, not the Hollywood better buy this thing kind of script, darn.

I might even make more than one.



Game to Play this Weekend

This weekend I will play this game listed at the address above.  I should be doing my taxes instead.

Hmm. is there really a place the occupy movement can claim similar to this site:

http://weburbanist.com/2013/04/03/ruin-academy-urban-lab-in-an-abandoned-building/

http://www.archdaily.com/345935/ruin-academy-marco-casagrande/

My Desk at Work

I have and use two computers at work.  Neither computer is great and, in fact, one still runs XP slowly and has a broken optical drive.  The other computer runs Windows 7 but it doesn't have much software installed on it.  Here are the reasons why I have and use two computers, two monitors, two keyboards and two mice:

• When one computer slows down, I immediately hop over to the other computer and start working on it
• When I encounter a problem on one computer I can test to see if the same problem occurs on the other, which helps a lot in terms of troubleshooting problems
• One piece of software I use everyday is a resource hog so I basically use one computer exclusively for that purpose
• 
  

Entertainment this Weekend

In this post I present some things that will keep me entertained this weekend. I also plan to:

Harvest the garlic I planted without wondering why it is that every time I mention that I am growing garlic people have to ask me about my ancestors as if only people from Transylvania grow garlic
Plant more seeds from the awesome seed packets I got for Christmas this year
Hike around Santa Cruz Island, the largest of the Channel Islands
Poke around an abandoned building (man, I want the NFL to come back)
Read a copy of the New York Times from cover to cover
Burn things (in a totally safe, controlled manner, I swear)

YouTube Round Up

Jokes and jokes and

Spaghetti, Spaghetti

The Internet is Filled with Boundless Entertainment
but, honestly, most of it is worthless junk.  I 've only started wading into the sea of content on the See Mike Draw site that brings us the following image and some of the humor is a little too disgusting even for me.  Still, the price is right so I've added this site to my RSS feed.  Enjoy, if you dare.

Via

Video Games to Waste Time With

I enjoy a good point-and-click adventure game.  I realize that this type of game is far from being cutting edge and that most real gamers are probably turned off by this genre.  Still, I enjoy these games in my spare time.  Recently, I came across an adventure game with three episodes called Cover Front, which might keep me entertained this weekend.  I have only just scratched the surface of the third game in the series.  I plan to start playing the first episode this evening and see how long that holds my interest.  Here is the link to the first episode:

I think the whole PastelPortal.com site where the Cover Front series is located looks like it will be entertaining to check out.

According to the bio of the creator, his game The Submachines is the most popular of his point-and-click creations.

Also, I still have a fondness for Galaga, an arcade game that my Dad and I play every time we come across one of the big wooden towers.  Here is an online  version of the game, which, sadly, moves much faster than the arcade game and is therefore less enjoyable.  Here is another link, which I haven't tried yet.

Upcoming Entertainment

Tonight at 4:00 p.m. is the NBA Dunk Contest!  I have fond memories of Dwight Howard dunking with one hand while slapping a sticker of his own smiling face to the top of the backboard with his other hand.  Here is the video:

I Don't Think the Judges Could See the Sticker and 

Therefore Didn't Rate this Dunk Highly Enough

Enlightened
Sundays, 9:30 PM ET, HBO

Season 4 of Archer has begun!

Happy Endings
Tuesdays, 9:30 PM ET, ABC

Childrens Hospital
Thursdays, Comedy Central

Zero Hour (February 14)
Watching the first episode gave me the chance to crack wise about a lot of the material that was being covered.

Oz The Great And Powerful (March 8) 
It's got Sam Raimi as the director!  The guy has the Midas-touch I tell you.


The Last Of Us (May 7)
A video game about zombies from the guy who did the excellent Uncharted trilogy

Joss Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing (June 7)
I'm not holding my breath in anticipation but I suppose I will give it a shot.

Christopher Priest’s The Adjacent (June 20)
Something for you fancy book readin' types.

So much win:

I want to lick the creators of this short film.

Of course most of the stuff listed above will probably turn out to be just slightly above par:

Now for something you'll really like:

I can't think of any possible downside to keeping a tiger in the backyard:

Shouts to Doobybrain.com for finding these videos.  I have taken the initiative of culling the weaker videos from the doobybrain site to bring you only the best. 

13 seconds in things start to get good

This video of a power plant being imploded in Chula Vista, CA gets a little loud:

Coming down from this high is not going to be fun for this jerk:

Fast-forward to 10:15 for the good stuff

For your gif needs, I sugges that you visit, giphy

Recent Reading
Recently, I read the novel Ready Player One by Ernest Cline.  I enjoyed the experience and recommend the book.

Making My Own Entertainment
I taught myself HTML, CSS and JavaScript in the hope of growing rich.  This has not really worked out for me so far.  I do still have a dream of constantly creating a website that allows visitors to go on a free online adventure.  That's right, my dream is to publish a free game that people play online.  The game I have in mind presents the user with images I have captured from my own camera and allows the user to play through a series of story lines that are constantly being created.   


The closest thing I have found to what I have in mind is The Kingdom of Loathing.  My plan has always been to create something of a similar scale but to use photos instead of crude drawings because, if you look at the scribbles on this blog, I clearly should not be encouraged to draw anything myself.

TL;DR: Above are links to sources of entertainment to put in your eye and ear holes.

Trashy TV

Now is as good a time as any to think about what will keep us entertained this weekend.  The following trashy TV shows that are available on Netflix have captured my attention:

Skins (the original UK version, not the terrible U.S. remake):

 Pink undies, a short plaid skirt and boots will get my attention

 I've read that book!

The whole first season of Skins is available on Netflix

My quasi-puritanical American upbringing does cause me to turn down the volume on these shows frequently.

Pretty Little Liars (PLL)
Now hear me out on this one.  The pilot of PLL is good.  I enjoyed watching the pilot to see a Disney show aimed at the tween and younger audience that covers shoplifting, underage drinking, drug use, lesbians, murder and lying (obviously) to adults.  Plus, the actresses are easy on the eyes.

Pretty girls, catchy music, lots of advertising 

but not worth watching beyond the pilot

Unfortunately, the promise of this show starts to fizzle out before the end of the pilot.  Among the many problems the show faces is that a police officer actually shows up at the home of a girl to arrest her for shoplifting.  This does not happen in real life, kids.

What little else I have seen of this show has been a disappointment.

Summary: I offer some Netflix suggestions that are heavy on top heavy young girls.

Conquering

I am on the hunt for a place to call home.  I do not have a lot of money.  What I do have is creativity and burning desire to own, not rent, but own my own place to live.  

I have thought about a house boat but a lot of other people have had the same thought and while it might be possible to rent a slip/ mooring* that would be less expensive than an apartment, I have heard some really awful stories about the upkeep costs for owning a boat.  Plus, the difficulties in maintaining a first world lifestyle aboard a boat are fairly significant from what I can imagine, i.e. how does one shower in fresh water when the marina is icky, do boats even have showers, where does the stuff go when the toilet flushes, etc.  I would have the pride that comes along with actually owning something in the boat.

My previously secret weapon in the struggle of the middle class is the website consumerist.com, which provides consistently good information aimed at consumers trying to do their best in navigating the complexities of the current world in which we live.  This post contains the following thought provoking passage regarding the future of now empty retail space available all across the United States: 

Could they [empty retail stores] become the suburban version of the factory loft apartment? We've seen old schools, churches and office buildings turned into condos and hotels, but we expect the whole lack-of-windows thing might be a roadblock to converting an old Borders into deluxe living quarters.

Maybe they should be converted into paintball arenas? 

While I like the suggestion of transforming empty retail spaces into paintball arenas because it suggests that someone or several people would be able to make money from otherwise unused space, I would like to see it go farther.  How about space for an interactive experience with live actors that takes place in the warehouse?  What about such an experience that involves a digital element with players using their smartphones to interact with the game and keep score against other players?

Showering on the go:

If you don't have a shower, you might try using Witch Hazel.  Pour some Witch Hazel over a washcloth while nude or semi nude in the relative privacy of a bathroom and rub all over your body.  Hopefully, you should feel a little bit cleaner by the time you are done.  Also, you might consider bringing a small bottle of shampoo to wash your hair in a bathroom sink. 

*I don't know what the exact nautical term for a boat parking spot is, which might indicate that I am not in the best position to actually own a boat.

Entertainment - Films

Netflix Movie Recommendation

Ironclad, a 2011 film starring Paul Giamatti, has more on screen violence and nudity than Braveheart and presents an look at a time in history of which I was previously unaware.  The film is set in the early 13th century and King John of England (Giamatti) is pissed because he had to sign over a small amount of power to the barons of England by putting his... well.. pre-John Hancock on the Magna Carta.

The Sword is Actually Bigger in the Movie

Here are some of the comments I made while watching this film for the first time:

• “Do the other side too just so they match” I said just before the drunk gets the wound on his shoulder cauterized.
• "Ye olde scrolls for sale! Ye olde scrolls for sale! Oh, is this not the renaissance faire?" I said when I caught a glace of the camp of King John's army.
• "Iron wool!" I exclaimed when the film shows the heroic Templar Knight sharpening his sword.

Maybe you had to be there.

In any event, I highly recommend Ironclad to anyone who enjoys a bloody sword slashing movie.

The only downside to the movie is that it isn't a big budget film and I think it runs about 15 minutes too long.  I would have liked to have some of the "that-person-is-lying-on-the-ground-and-not-moving-so-they-must-be-dead... oh-wait-they're-still-alive, yay!" moments and other tropes to have been cut.

Here is the link to where you can watch Ironclad instantly if you're hooked up with the whole Netflix streaming thing.

Overheard Conversation

"I tape it (Say Yes to the Dress) and watch it in the morning."

Really?  Can you even still buy blank VHS tapes in the age of TiVo and the DVR?

VHS tapes are so old I don't even know how to draw them anymore.

Entertainment Notes - Netflix

Statement of Purpose


I don't expect Clean Sheets and Dirty Girls to devolve into a movie review site because I don't know what it takes to write a decent movie review and the movie industry is pretty well covered.


This blog will continue to feature my notes and since I recently ditched cable TV in favor of Netflix I was bound to form some opinions on the Netflix content library.  


Notes on Netflix Offerings


In this post I'll point out some things I noticed about:

• Daniel Tosh’s Completely Serious
• Clerks
• Murder in the Rue Morgue
•  .com for Murder

If you're down with the whole Netflix thing, you might want to check out 35 minutes or so into Daniel Tosh’s Completely Serious special.  He has a bit about football, which is worth watching.


Has anyone else noticed that Dante literally comes out of the closet at the beginning of Clerks?  

53 minutes into Murder in the Rue Morgue there is a good scene in which the retired detective meets the current detective along with the retired detective’s sidekick.

With the title .com for Murder and actress Nicollette Sheridan in a starring role, how could this move fail to interest an Interent junkie and all around technophile like me?  The answer is that .com for Murder could depict people doing things that no human being could be expected to actually do in real life if presented with the fictional situations presented in this sub-par movie.  This guy basically sums up my feelings towards this movie:

Thank You Idiocracy for Saying Things 

I Would Feel Uncomfortable Saying Myself

I find it a bit disappointing to realize just how many movies are neither included in the Netflix library nor shown regularly, if ever, on cable TV.  For example, Runaway, a 1984 movie starring Tom Selleck, was never going to win best picture at the Oscars but it was a decent entry in the police action category with some science fiction elements.  To my way of thinking, the robotic spiders featured in  Runaway  are far more imaginative than the standard movie villian's henchman.  Again, I don't mean to imply that Runaway was a great movie.  It's not.  The Tomatometer currently lists it at 47%, as you can see for yourself here.  It is however a decent movie with some above average elements.  My argument is that it would be a shame if movies like Runaway become forgotten in the future while movies like .com for Murder continue to enter the consciousness of movie watchers.

Internet Video That's Worth Watching

Entertainment List

Internet video has, along with music, become one of my two favorite sections of the Entertainment List I keep.  One of the sources of quality internet based video is Cracked.com, which of course is also well known for their humorous writing and images.  Here is one video I came across recently, which I think is worth watching:

The Dark Secret Behind Quirky Romantic Comedies -- powered by Cracked.com

Urban Wolf

Someday I'll get around to publishing my entire Entertainment List on this site.  In the meantime, if you haven't already here is your chance to get yourself hooked on Urban Wolf:

I Approve of All 15 of The Urban Wolf Videos

Natalie Portman Gets an Oscar and This Girl Gets a Video on YouTube

Somewhere the author of Freakonomics could very well be writing an additional chapter for the next edition of his book by comparing the relative levels of income to the dancing ability of Natalie Portman and the woman in the following video:

American Cheerleaders Have Nothing on This Girl

I've been to several renditions of The Nutcracker but I've never seen a ballet performance as spectacular as the one this woman gives us.

Entertainment List Entries

These sites have made me laugh in the past:

Www.FunnyOrDie.com - These are hit and miss but those with 80%+ ratings are often genuinely funny

www.MyDamnChannel.com - Wainy Days is worth watching.  It's vulgar and intentionally silly but has some famous actors doing cameo roles and the writing is intelligent

www.cracked.com - I find it hard to pull my eyeballs away from their humorous posts

www.teamcoco.com - Usually I just watch the show when it comes on TV, so there is no point in visiting this site.  Still, the site usually has good clips.


Shopping for Baseball Tickets:
I'm not a huge fan of Major League Baseball.  The fact that the Yankees payroll is three times that of my team, the San Diego Padres, means that they can never compete on a level playing field.  I believe that MLB needs to adopt the NFL's model of providing a league wide salary cap, which would allow all the teams to have a chance of winning the World Series.  


Still, I like to attend 1-5 games a season so finding the best deals on tickets is a help to me.  Recently, I came across a piece that recommends ticket price seat aggregators FanSnap.com and SeatGeek.com, both of which pull information from a wide range of ticket sale sites to present a picture of what seats are available at what price from all the various ticket brokers out there.  There is a good video that is just over one minute long, which breaks down the process for using these aggregrators here. 

I really wish I could man the controls of one of these:

This form of entertainment doesn't exist yet but I think it should. The Air Force doesn't really need to pay people to pilot their unmanned drones. I bet there are hundreds of thousands of people, gamers especially, that would love the chance to use a joystick on an Air Force Base in Colorado Springs to launch a missile attack from a Predator drone against targets in Western Pakistan.

Can you get some more missiles and bombs on that thing?

A good friend of mine works on improving the design of the Reaper and the Predator, actually trying to put more ordinance on the Predator shown above.  I hope that whoever was in charge of naming those two drones will get to name the next armed drone (the unarmed Global Hawk doesn't count) and if it's anywhere near as good as the first two it will definitely become part of the name of my yet to be formed band.  

Book Things:
As a senior in high school I had a really sharp English teacher who was on top of his game. In fact, the guy had won Teacher of the Year at a large high school with 3,300 students twice in a row before he took himself out of the running so that the other teachers would have a chance. In short, this guy really knows his stuff when it comes to literature. One day in class this teacher recommended that anyone interested in reading a book that was both deep with meaning and would be a real page turner should buy a copy of The Magus by John Fowles. Unfortunately, there was no way he would be able to teach it in class.

Disclaimer: Of course, your mileage may vary in terms of enjoyment of any of the items above.


TL;DR: I list several items on my entertainment list. If you're looking to be entertained, I would suggest you start at the top with the websites I suggest.

Touchdown McGee Baby!

My name is Touchdown McGee baby!

"Hold on, I need to check something” she said holding up her smartphone in front of her double D chest to pull up the Chargers team members salary information on the Union-Tribune website. “What kind of car do you drive, Touchdown?”

"I don't sweet thang. I pay four muscular white guys to carry me around on a throne on a platform hoisted on their shoulders. Usually I have two little girls skipping in front while simulaneously throwing rose petals on the ground but it's late and it's a school night. Do you want to see it?"

-I wrote the crap above after reading the god level writing that follows:

Poison by Bell Biv Devoe

http://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960/one-page-the-petals-fall-twice-by-chip-zdarsky

http://www.flickr.com/photos/zdarsky/5371368755/sizes/o/in/photostream/

I must have more of this.

On a totally unrelated subject, I found this article interesting.  If you can't afford it, don't complain:

TRASHED: Foreclosed homes being trashed by their departing occupants is not a new story. But the situation in Huntington Beach might take the cake. Officials said someone caused more than $200,000 in damage to the $2 million luxury home. The destruction was extensive and designed to cause long-term problems, according to the Orange County Register:

Among the destruction: Chemicals and cement were poured down drains, a Jacuzzi was left running for what may have been months, with most walls in the house splattered in mold, and a floor caved in from the weight of a huge pile of wet clothes and other junk. Most appliances, sinks and toilets were gone; Only one toilet was left.

 Music: Aloe Blacc – I Need a Dollar

Entertainment: Sometime when I have little else to do (ha!) I should watch this:

http://www.sho.com/site/order/preview.do#/Shameless_s01_e01

Los Angeles Times Article: 

Santa Monica High student leaps to his death

The 14-year-old boy jumped from a hotel near the school after bolting from baseball practice. Family, friends and authorities seek answers.

I saw a work that caught my eye by San Diego artist Jean Lowe (b. 1960), Living with Nature.

TL;DR: Fantastic -  http://zdarsky.tumblr.com/post/2837139960/one-page-the-petals-fall-twice-by-chip-zdarsky