Thursday, December 29, 2011

Virginia is for Lovers


They say Virginia is for Lovers.  Apparently, it's not for Newt Gingrich.

Newt Gingrich failed to get himself the 10,000 valid signatures necessary to get on the Republican primary ballot in Virginia as reported in this article from the New York Times.  For whatever reason, people often sign fake names so candidates typically get twice as many signatures as are necessary to make sure they have the minimum number of signatures covered.  According to the 2010 census, the population of people living in Virginia is 8,001,024.  Of those, 23.2% are under the age of 18, which means that approximately 6,144,786 people over the age of 18 live in Virginia.  My calculator says that 20,000 people is less than 1/3 of one percent of Virginians of legal voting age. 

Clearly the outline of the State of Virginia, clearly

Apparently, Newt couldn't get less than 1/3 of one percent of Virginians to request that he be included on the Republican primary ballot.  

Let's Get Serious

Let’s get serious for a moment.

The political system is flawed enough to allow for horrific wealth and income inequality to exist; not a week goes by without a story concerning one of our sports stars being into drugs, domestic abuse and violence aimed at members of the public: In short, we need heroes.

Thankfully, we now have just such a man.

I humbly present Hamblor, the God of Hamburgers.  Hamblor has a number of things going for him:
  • Hamblor has a pair of golden bull statues
  • Hamblor can shoot fried onion strings from his fingers 
  • Hamblor's voice crumbles bleu cheese
  • Hamblor rides a giant St. Bernard, with a barrel of A1 Steak Sauce around his neck
  • Finally, Hamblor has a harem of scantly clad women who share in his kingdom in the clouds
I'd like to know more about the burger god Hamblor. 

Sadly, it looks like Carl's Jr./ Hardee's has given up on Hamblor.  The website only has a static image which mentions a movie that came out in the middle of November.

You get out of that tub and back to work Hamblor!

At 1,060 calories for each Steakhouse Six Dollar Burger 
I'm guessing these girls don't sample the product much

Also where did the golden bulls, shown earlier flanking the flames, go?

Finding Bigfoot

While on the subject of commercials, I would like to point out that more than one person living in America decided it would be a good idea to produce not just one but now a second season of a show called "Finding Bigfoot" about, well, finding Bigfoot.

I on the other hand do not

Here is the link to the promotional video for this ridiculous show.

I'm writing this from a coffee shop while wearing shoes that are coming apart at the seams instead of working at any one of the real jobs I've applied and interviewed for recently.  Meanwhile, advertisers are writing checks to these guys to play around in the woods?  I believe something is terribly wrong with a system that allows this to happen.

Updated on 12/30/11 - Removed a grammatical error from the paragraph on the Virginia Republican primary

Sunday, December 25, 2011

It's Time

Holiday Shopping
I think about time some... well... times.  Last Tuesday, I wrapped up my holiday shopping.  In less than five minutes from thinking "I should really buy them something because the big day is less than a week away" I had finished placing an order for a piece of electronics, which would be delivered in time for Christmas.

The day before, I spent three hours driving from one store to another trying to find slacks in my size. To my dismay, I discovered that not a single one of the stores I visited carried anything with an inseem longer than 32".  Finally, because a late afternoon meeting that day was the reason I was driving around looking for pants, I visited a slightly fancier caliber of store.  After hours of searching, I found a decent pair of pants that fit well enough.

If there is anything worth taking away from this story (and I'm not sure there is) it's a suggestion/ reminder to plan ahead and shop online.

Whatcha Talkin'Willis,
Whatcha Talkin' 'Bout Everyone
(Ah, Simpsons, I remember when you were consistently funny)

Today is Christmas and that means that it's the perfect time to enjoy the following:

Skip ahead to 1:02 if you like

No, no I was wrong.  It's too soon for us to watch this.

Errors in Posting Recently

I goofed recently.  I allowed a pair of posts which I partially drafted but never finished to be published.  I would blame the editorial staff but this is a one man operation.