Monday, October 1, 2012

Let The Halloween Celebrations Begin!

Happy Month of Halloween Everyone!

If you want the full experience, please read the following re-printed copy of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart" and then watch the video that follows.  Or, if you're not into reading, just scroll down to the video below.
True! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How then am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story.

It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain, but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! Yes, it was this! One of his eyes resembled that of a vulture -- a pale blue eye with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me my blood ran cold, and so by degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye for ever.

Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded -- with what caution -- with what foresight, with what dissimulation, I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night about midnight I turned the latch of his door and opened it oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern all closed, closed so that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly, very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this? And then when my head was well in the room I undid the lantern cautiously -- oh, so cautiously -- cautiously (for the hinges creaked), I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights, every night just at midnight, but I found the eye always closed, and so it was impossible to do the work, for it was not the old man who vexed me but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he had passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed , to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.

Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers, of my sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was opening the door little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea, and perhaps he heard me, for he moved on the bed suddenly as if startled. Now you may think that I drew back -- but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness (for the shutters were close fastened through fear of robbers), and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily, steadily.

I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening , and the old man sprang up in the bed, crying out, "Who's there?"

I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed, listening; just as I have done night after night hearkening to the death watches in the wall.

Presently, I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief -- oh, no! It was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself, "It is nothing but the wind in the chimney, it is only a mouse crossing the floor," or, "It is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp." Yes he has been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions ; but he had found all in vain. ALL IN VAIN, because Death in approaching him had stalked with his black shadow before him and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel, although he neither saw nor heard, to feel the presence of my head within the room.

When I had waited a long time very patiently without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little -- a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it -- you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily -- until at length a single dim ray like the thread of the spider shot out from the crevice and fell upon the vulture eye.

It was open, wide, wide open, and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness -- all a dull blue with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones, but I could see nothing else of the old man's face or person, for I had directed the ray as if by instinct precisely upon the damned spot.

And now have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the senses? now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.

But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eye. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder, every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! -- do you mark me well? I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me -- the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once -- once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But for many minutes the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.

If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence.

I took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly so cunningly, that no human eye -- not even his -- could have detected anything wrong. There was nothing to wash out -- no stain of any kind -- no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that.

When I had made an end of these labours, it was four o'clock -- still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart, -- for what had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night; suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises.

I smiled, -- for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them search -- search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.

The officers were satisfied. My MANNER had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears; but still they sat, and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct : I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness -- until, at length, I found that the noise was not within my ears.

No doubt I now grew very pale; but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased -- and what could I do? It was a low, dull, quick sound - much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton.  I gasped for breath, and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly, more vehemently but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations; but the noise steadily increased. Why would they not be gone? I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men, but the noise steadily increased. O God! what could I do? I foamed -- I raved -- I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder -- louder -- louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly , and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! -- no, no? They heard! -- they suspected! -- they knew! -- they were making a mockery of my horror! -- this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! -- and now -- again -- hark! louder! louder! louder! louder! --

"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of his hideous heart!"



Wednesday, September 19, 2012

This Post has been Hijacked, Matey!

It is I, Captain Joaquin Gorrión, recently freed from the foul confines of Piedras Negras prison in Northern Mexico (proof of my escape) just in time to celebrate my favorite holiday, International Talk Like a Pirate Day, or, as it is better known to my brethren, Talk Like Us Day!


Classic pirate sword- check.  Black Hawk-Eagle
instead of a parrot because it is native to Mexico- check.
Yep, this guy seems legit.

Roger and I did exchange several instant messages after he realized who hacked into his Blogger account in order to take over his hilarious and insightful Clean Sheets and Dirty Girls blog.  I have copied and pasted our IMs below for your amusement using this very fine MacBook Air I helped myself to from a patron at Starbucks who was kind enough to leave it laying on a table while she visited the restroom.  

Q: Let's get this question out of the way first.  What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

A: Rrrrrrrrrr, you kidding me, you scalawag!  


Q: What do you plan to do now that you are in Texas besides hijack my blog?

I plan to secure a ship, a crew and make my way back to blue water where I can pillage and plunder to me black heart's content.  

Q: How do you plan to get there from Texas?  From what I understand the people there can be rather shooty.

A: They can never capture the infamous Joaquin Gorrión... again!

Q: What are your thoughts on the pirates off the coast of Somalia?

A: I have spent years living on the coast of Somalia, smoking qat with the locals in an abandoned lighthouse in between liberation missions off the coast.  I know the locals as well as anyone from the Americas and I can say from first hand experience that anyone living in a country where poverty is so extreme as it is in Somalia can hardly be blamed for trying to take from the wealthy.  They are the Robin Hoods of the sea, matey!  The wealthy governments of the world should spend more time trying to help the people of Somalia rather than sending their warships off its coast.

Q: Do you feel badly for hijacking the Q and A style of blog post that is used frequently on Mayor Gia's fantastic blog?

A: Pirate.

Q: Oh, right.  So what does a pirate captain such a yourself do all day?

A. We command a pirate crew with orders like batten down the hatches (hatches always need battening), square the sails, hoist the Jolly Roger, shiver me timbers, fetch more rum and so forth.

Q: OK, well I feel that you are running out of material and we have established that it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day so I think we're done here for now.

A. That's not really a question.

Q: Could you at least tell the readers about the last time I did a post about International Talk Like a Pirate Day, which they can see here.

A. I'll give you that but I prefer my eggs served they way they are famous for making them for breakfast in Portugal.

Q: Can I have my blog back?

A. Maybe.

Monday, September 17, 2012

San Diego Upgrades

San Diego is Getting a New Central Library


While I would rather see the hours lengthened and the buildings improved or expanded at existing branch libraries throughout San Diego, I am excited to see the dome of the new Central San Diego library going into place.

San Diego gets good dome

Here is a look at the courtyard garden:

I Want to Read There!

Here you can take a live look at the construction of the new library.  How exciting!

The new library has a lot of competition from other recently constructed downtown libraries in other major U.S. cities.  The Seattle downtown library has its own TED talk for goodness sake!

I Really Hope the San Diego Library 
Turns Out This Well

Here is the link to the official web site for the new San Diego Central Library.

San Diego's Balboa Park Renovation

As you can see in this artist's rendering, Balboa Park will
look exactly the same except that you won't be able to drive
through it anymore and they will charge you for parking 
underneath it - civic progress!


Plaza de Panama - is the name of a renovation project scheduled to move forward over the next several years that will significantly alter San Diego's Balboa Park.  You can read a lot about the upgrade on the official website for the project here.  The city of San Diego is certainly on board with the renovation as you can see from reading this glowing endorsement of the project.  What the city does not describe in their Fact Sheet that I would really like to know is who gets the money from the paid parking that will be added to Balboa Park.  To my way of thinking the city of San Diego should have held out for free parking to be part of this project so that all San Diegans can enjoy Balboa Park rather than agree to have someone build a way to print money by charging people to visit Balboa Park, which is one of the highlights of San Diego.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Trashy TV

Now is as good a time as any to think about what will keep us entertained this weekend.  The following trashy TV shows that are available on Netflix have captured my attention:

Skins (the original UK version, not the terrible U.S. remake):

 Pink undies, a short plaid skirt and boots will get my attention

 I've read that book!

The whole first season of Skins is available on Netflix

My quasi-puritanical American upbringing does cause me to turn down the volume on these shows frequently.

Pretty Little Liars (PLL)
Now hear me out on this one.  The pilot of PLL is good.  I enjoyed watching the pilot to see a Disney show aimed at the tween and younger audience that covers shoplifting, underage drinking, drug use, lesbians, murder and lying (obviously) to adults.  Plus, the actresses are easy on the eyes.

Pretty girls, catchy music, lots of advertising 
but not worth watching beyond the pilot

Unfortunately, the promise of this show starts to fizzle out before the end of the pilot.  Among the many problems the show faces is that a police officer actually shows up at the home of a girl to arrest her for shoplifting.  This does not happen in real life, kids.

What little else I have seen of this show has been a disappointment.

Summary: I offer some Netflix suggestions that are heavy on top heavy young girls.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Questions Off the Cuff

I enjoyed reading the "Questions Off the Cuff" post from this wonderful blog enough that I adapted them for myself here:



Monday, September 10, 2012

Smartphone Upgrade

Despite the fact that I have a cell phone charger that converts power from a standard outlet to a micro-USB plug at home and one at work and one that converts power from the cigarette lighter in my car (two of these came with my previous phone), the bright screen of my phone manages to drain its battery during the time it takes to sit down and sip a cup of coffee.

I thought about getting a solar powered charger or an external battery charging device.  I like the fact that these devices would charge the battery on both my current phone and other devices with a micro-USB port.  The downside is that these items are bulky and since I don't carry a murse there is a good likelihood that I would not have them with me when my battery dies.  


Recently, I purchased a second battery for my LG Revolution smartphone for about $6 including shipping from Amazon.com (although that prices doesn't take into account the $90+ annual charge for being a member of Amazon Prime).  With a second battery I hope to be able to change out batteries on the go and keep my phone ready to do my bidding.  The battery is small enough to fit in the little pocket on the front right side of a pair of jeans.  One problem with having a second battery I quickly discovered is that you can't tell by looking at it if it is charged or not and there is no point in bringing a dead battery with you anywhere.  I came up with the following solution to this problem and now have a system in place on both batteries that instantly lets me know if the spare is charged just by glancing at it.  I present the smartest thing I have done in recent memory:

It's dead, Jim. 

Fit and Ready for Action

With the addition to four colored stickers (two on each of my two batteries), I now know if my batteries are charged at a glance.  Green side up or facing away from my body in my pocket means that it's charged.  Red up or away means it is dead. 

If I did this all over again, I might go with a black sticker or piece of black tape for dead and white to indicate charged to fit with the black and white theme of this blog and lifestyle color choices but what's done is done.

Pro-Tip: Electronics only work when they have power making it useful to know if a battery is fully charged or not.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Anger Over Housing

Everything that is Wrong with America and San Diego
I am sick and tired of paying money to someone else who provides me with little in return.  Housing in particular bothers me.  I want to own, not rent, my own home.  I do not need a large home. I would like to own a home that is within a reasonable commuting distance of where I currently work in San Diego, CA.

I value my independence a great deal.  I do not want to share a living space with people who are not members of my family.  I do not want to live with one or more roommates.

I can sum up everything that is wrong with American in general and San Diego in particular with this one link.  Here is a 420 square foot studio apartment, not even a one-bedroom mind you, that would cost me $925 a month to live in.  The unit itself is OK and while the neighborhood isn't the worst, it is not a place I would feel comfortable walking around at night.   The monthly rental rate for this apartment is fairly standard around the city of San Diego.

$925/ Month Does Not Buy Paradise

Since the listing does not mention parking, I imagine that street parking is the only thing available with this unit, which means that whoever lives here has to deal with the hassle of dragging their things to and from a different location each day.  Groceries are a pain to deal with in this setup plus there is the constant threat of someone smashing your window and stealing whatever is inside your car.

I don't like to discuss finances.  I will say that given my financial situation $925 is a lot of money to charge someone to live in a studio in a sub-par neighborhood.

I am incredibly grateful to have found a job this year after searching for longer than I would have liked to find employment.  I worked for four years at the same company after graduating from college and did well at my job.  I am intelligent, hardworking, have no felonies on my record nor have I had any serious run ins with the law.  I received good grades throughout my time in school. while earning both a high school diploma from a public school and a bachelor's degree from a good university.  I could pursue a post-graduate degree but I don't like the idea of bribing smart people to get them to hand me a piece of paper that says I am one them.  If I could see some real value to having another diploma, I might consider going back to school.  What I have seen of the job market tells me that paying to put another diploma on my wall might not help me.

Summary of My Problem with Housing in America
All the money I could spend to rent this or any other apartment does not actually help me to own anything.  I personally do not have the money to buy a condo or single family detached home in cash at the moment.  If I was to buy such a thing with the help of a bank, what would happen if I lost my job?  Would a bank laugh at me if I was to approach them with my level of income and a desire to own, not rent, a piece of property?  Why does America or any other country use such a bizarre system of borrowing and credit to get people to move into their own homes?  This is the post-industrial age we live in.  We have an abundance of goods and people to supply services so why is it that a need as basic as shelter in an area where there is work to be found so difficult to obtain?

Thoughts?

Monday, September 3, 2012

Conquering

I am on the hunt for a place to call home.  I do not have a lot of money.  What I do have is creativity and burning desire to own, not rent, but own my own place to live.  

I have thought about a house boat but a lot of other people have had the same thought and while it might be possible to rent a slip/ mooring* that would be less expensive than an apartment, I have heard some really awful stories about the upkeep costs for owning a boat.  Plus, the difficulties in maintaining a first world lifestyle aboard a boat are fairly significant from what I can imagine, i.e. how does one shower in fresh water when the marina is icky, do boats even have showers, where does the stuff go when the toilet flushes, etc.  I would have the pride that comes along with actually owning something in the boat.

My previously secret weapon in the struggle of the middle class is the website consumerist.com, which provides consistently good information aimed at consumers trying to do their best in navigating the complexities of the current world in which we live.  This post contains the following thought provoking passage regarding the future of now empty retail space available all across the United States: 
Could they [empty retail stores] become the suburban version of the factory loft apartment? We've seen old schools, churches and office buildings turned into condos and hotels, but we expect the whole lack-of-windows thing might be a roadblock to converting an old Borders into deluxe living quarters.
Maybe they should be converted into paintball arenas? 

While I like the suggestion of transforming empty retail spaces into paintball arenas because it suggests that someone or several people would be able to make money from otherwise unused space, I would like to see it go farther.  How about space for an interactive experience with live actors that takes place in the warehouse?  What about such an experience that involves a digital element with players using their smartphones to interact with the game and keep score against other players?


Showering on the go:

If you don't have a shower, you might try using Witch Hazel.  Pour some Witch Hazel over a washcloth while nude or semi nude in the relative privacy of a bathroom and rub all over your body.  Hopefully, you should feel a little bit cleaner by the time you are done.  Also, you might consider bringing a small bottle of shampoo to wash your hair in a bathroom sink. 

*I don't know what the exact nautical term for a boat parking spot is, which might indicate that I am not in the best position to actually own a boat.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Entering the Final Phase

Football Season is Back!
September 1 is upon us and that marks the kickoff of another season of football!  Yes, I mean the kind of football that is played mostly by guys holding the ball in their hands, which I realize is a terrible name for the sport and one that could be improved upon.  No, I do not thinks that "handegg" is an acceptable alternative name.  

I entered a fantasy football league with some fellow bloggers.  I am really excited about spending a little time playing fantasy football because it is a good way to get excited about games and players that you would otherwise not have as much of an interest in watching.  Immediately after signing up, I promptly lost the username and password I used to create the account.  Also, after joining the league, my employer called me to do something at the same time the draft took place.  Now I've missed the draft and have no way to log in to the account at the moment.  I think I'm off to a good start. 

Fourth Quarter
Continuing the football theme, I think it's worth pointing out that it is September 1 and that means that we are entering the final quarter of 2012.

One of my goals for 2012 is to add 100 quality posts to Clean Sheets and Dirty Girls.  This post marks number 53 so I am behind schedule.  Thankfully, I do have plans in the works to add a number of posts in October to get everyone who frequents this blog in the mood for one of my favorite holidays, Halloween.

Eating



There I was scrolling down the endless list of things that make me happy on the This Isn't Happiness site when this amazingly instructive series of photos hit me like a ton of bricks.  I've been doing it wrong my whole life.  I could have been enjoying frosting with every bite of my cupcake.  Now I just need to convince someone to bake me cupcakes.

Update: This is certainly weird but this post somehow showed up as posted on 9/1/12 instead of as a draft to be published once I finished pulling together a few more of food related notes from around the innerwebs on the last week of September which is when I found the link above.  I'm sure it wasn't operator error.  In any event, here is a little more food related goodness I found online.

http://www.candywrapperarchive.com - used candy bar wrappers turn from trash to items of historic value if you give them 70 years.  I enjoyed looking at a Butterfinger bar wrapper from the 1930s that advertises it as costing only one penny.

Continuing the food theme, here is another from This Isn't Happiness that caught my eye.

Basket weave the bacon as buzz feed suggests in your BLT like this:
The Right Way to Make a BLT:
It looks like you have to bake your bacon
to make this one work