Michelle Jenneke

In honor of the Olympics, which are currently taking place in London, Clean Sheets and Dirty Girls presents  the lovely hurdler Michelle Jenneke: 

Hi, Everybody!

So Michelle, I hear you dance before you race.  

Any chance you want to do that dance right now?

C'mon, you know you want to.

We're off to a good start.

Wow, there's even a little hop at the end of your dance- cute.

Someone should tell her to get down from there.

If you're going to draw attention to yourself, you better be good

at what you do...

...because people will judge you if you fail just like it appears 

that girl in the green shirt on the left is doing at this moment.  

So, Michelle, are you any good?

(Security guard enjoying his view of the starting line)

Not bad for Michelle so far

Especially since this is clearly not easy to do

But it looks like...

 ...she's pretty good at this.

If you hit the hurdle button this early in the second 

level of Contra, your guy would be flashing right now.

Anybody here?

Guess not

And..

Victory Lap!!

She's attractive even when she's blurry.

C'mon scientists, you're telling me that we can put a guy on the 

Moon but we can't make shorts that don't ride up?  

Hugs?

Hugs!

Looks like we're at the end *wink*

Finally, here is the entire video of Michelle Jenneke's

dance and race set to creepy strip club music

Better Enjoy Your Weekend, Part 2

Who Doesn't Like a Game About Mindless Mass Suicide?

In the latest installment of my Better Enjoy Your Weekend series comes Lemmings.  Lemmings was a game that was originally released on something that we called a 3.5" floppy disc despite the fact that it was rigid and only its predecessor the 5.25" disk was actually floppy.  I actually remember playing this game from the DOS command prompt on my first computer, a 486 my family bought in the 1990s.  I'm happy to report that through the magic of the internet the exact Lemmings game I remember from my childhood is available here.

Level 1

I suggest that if you do try to play the game, you do so on at least the "Tricky" difficulty setting because the "Fun" setting is too easy even for a guy like me who does not play a lot of video games.  Also, if you do play, be prepared for the annoying fact that after you assign a task to a lemming you will have to click on the action icon twice to select it for the next Lemming.

Throw It Out

Think About Throwing Out Some Clothes

Protip: After washing your clothing several times it will become thinner and, possibly, even see through.  The stuff that collects in the lint trap of your dryer is material that came off your clothing. 

Ladies (and guys too, I shudder to think) if you have spandex outer wear that you have been wearing for years, it might be time to think about tossing it out.  Last Saturday morning, as I was sitting in Starbucks reading the news and writing, a group of women walked in after what could only be the end of a nearby exercise class.   One woman was wearing a matching purple tank top and shorts both made from spandex that left the white triangle of her thong very obviously visible through both the shorts and the bottom of the tank top, which was pulled down over her shorts. I wonder what the people facing the front of her outfit saw.

Getting Thrown Out of Congress

Thad McCotter joins Pluto on the list of things who have been kicked out of the cool kids club.

Technically, Thad McCotter retired but it's fairly clear that had he not given up his seat in the U.S. House of Representatives, he would have been thrown out of Congress because he did not actually meet the requirements to hold the office.  The New York Times reports that "1,563 of the 1,830 signatures he turned in to get his name on the primary ballot were found to be fraudulent.  Only 1,000 were required."   The full New York Times story is here.  I wrote about just how inept Newt Gingrich was for not submitting enough valid signatures to get on the Republican Primary in Virginia here.  

Entertainment - Films

Netflix Movie Recommendation

Ironclad, a 2011 film starring Paul Giamatti, has more on screen violence and nudity than Braveheart and presents an look at a time in history of which I was previously unaware.  The film is set in the early 13th century and King John of England (Giamatti) is pissed because he had to sign over a small amount of power to the barons of England by putting his... well.. pre-John Hancock on the Magna Carta.

The Sword is Actually Bigger in the Movie

Here are some of the comments I made while watching this film for the first time:

• “Do the other side too just so they match” I said just before the drunk gets the wound on his shoulder cauterized.
• "Ye olde scrolls for sale! Ye olde scrolls for sale! Oh, is this not the renaissance faire?" I said when I caught a glace of the camp of King John's army.
• "Iron wool!" I exclaimed when the film shows the heroic Templar Knight sharpening his sword.

Maybe you had to be there.

In any event, I highly recommend Ironclad to anyone who enjoys a bloody sword slashing movie.

The only downside to the movie is that it isn't a big budget film and I think it runs about 15 minutes too long.  I would have liked to have some of the "that-person-is-lying-on-the-ground-and-not-moving-so-they-must-be-dead... oh-wait-they're-still-alive, yay!" moments and other tropes to have been cut.

Here is the link to where you can watch Ironclad instantly if you're hooked up with the whole Netflix streaming thing.

Overheard Conversation

"I tape it (Say Yes to the Dress) and watch it in the morning."

Really?  Can you even still buy blank VHS tapes in the age of TiVo and the DVR?

VHS tapes are so old I don't even know how to draw them anymore.

Happy Fourth of July

Today We Celebrate Our Independence Day

This time it really does make sense to watch this video, I promise:

Skip to 1:02, if you like

Stirring, emotional and for the first time in the history of this blog, this video is being used on an appropriate date.

This video made me laugh.  I suppose it sort of has fireworks in it, which makes it relevant today:

Do You Believe in Magic?

Happy Voting Mexico!

Tengo el Gato en Mis Pantalones*

Today Mexico votes for the person that will represent them for the next six years.

Since the United States already flies drones over Mexico, do the Mexicans really control their own country?

Future Game and a Game for this Weekend

A Free Experience for the Weekend

Right now, you can visit welcometorekall.com to experience what Hollywood has to offer online when hyping what Sony hopes will be a summer blockbuster.  As a small time web content producer myself, I would like to see more Hollywood money flowing to web developers and I am pleased to report that they seem to be spending some money on the marketing of Total Recall.  Plus, the link is worth visiting because the actress they hired for the site is hot.


A Free Demo Game for this Weekend

From the drugged out minds at Amanita Games in the Czech Republic who brought Samorost, Samorost 2 and, my personal favorite, Machinarium into the world, comes Botanicula, their latest game.  

I Can't be the Only One Thinking of Uvula

I played the demo of this point-and-click game for a little while on Wednesday.  The only problem I have found with it is that there seems to be too many areas to explore and no real direction for the user to take but since I know the producers have made engaging games in the past, I'm willing to keep at it.  I will be exploring the free demo further this weekend.  You should think about doing the same.  Here is the link.  I was a little disappointed by this experience.

Future Games

In 2014, we finally get a college football playoff!  It's only four teams, so there will be plenty of people bitching about the teams that don't make the cut but at least it's a step in the right direction.

Kickoff, Soon

Quote of the Week (Perhaps the Only Time this Feature Runs)

"Howard Zinn convinced me to never take a blanket from a white man."

Free eBooks and Stuff

Summer almost officially upon us!  Technically June 20 is the Summer Solstice but, of course, a number of us have time off during the summer, which is a great time to do some reading.


Try the following websites for access to free ebooks:
http://www.gutenberg.org/wiki/Main_Page
http://library.nu
http://avaxhome.ws/ebooks
http://ebookee.com/
http://manybooks.net/

Let Us Never Speak of this Again

A Place to Go Everyday

I found a job recently!  On that happy note, I present some office related notes I've taken during my working life.

During my first meeting with the head of the office in which I now work I was told that the two most important qualities I should display are discretion and loyalty.  The loyalty part is easy enough because I care about what the new organization I work for does.  The discretion part dictates that I do not go into any detail about what I or anyone else at my new job does with their time.  Unfortunately, I won't be publishing any of the notes I take as part of the things I will be doing at my new job.

Discretion

I like to think I can manage to be more discrete than this American General who reportedly told a Japanese publication that American forces are parachuting into North Korea to keep and eye on the network of tunnels in North Korea, which are invisible to American satellites.  I certainly won't be publishing anything about the network of secret tunnels are my new job.

You can become a more effective office drone by using the following phrases or having others use them for you either over the phone or via email:

• He just stepped out.
• He is in a meeting right now.
• Because of the timing, we’re unable to _____
• He is out of town right now (amazingly few people have countered that in the age of cellphones being out of town is not a valid excuse for being out of reach)
• You just missed him.
• He is on a plane right now.
• He is (insert anything that took place anywhere up to two weeks ago or will take place up to two weeks from now, i.e. Having lunch with xxx, meeting with xxx, is currently xxx etc.)
• I’m sick and have no voice (can be sent to someone via email)

Usually, a cheery "I can take a message" following any of the above is good enough to get the person on the other end of the phone to leave you alone.

Keep it Exciting
Sadly, I don't think my new job will ever prove to be exciting enough for me to discover a foot or a hand in the mail like the two top political parties in Canada or two schools in Vancouver had happen to them recently, as you can read about here.  Yes, this most likely has something to do with what has been labeled as the most disgusting video in the history of the internet in which a guy stabs, has sex with, eats and lets his dog eat another guy.  I'll let you try to find the link yourself.

Anyway, I'm excited about the new job.

The Future is Nigh!

Technology:

Clearly this is just a prototype and it's going to have to get a lot better before it becomes ready for consumers but the screen of this "paper" phone is impressive

Environmentally Friendlier Office Supplies:

Rebinder is a company that began by selling three ring binders without the plastic vinyl covers, which aren't the best thing in the world for the environment, when here